Reflections from 26
Written By Danielle Sertic
have to say i’m glad to see 26 go. this past trip around the sun was a tough one. i fell into fleshly desires, listened closely to a lot of noise that didn’t serve me well & i stumbled “confidently” in my own way leaving lots of slack between God & i.
when i would share certain struggles some people would say “you’re growing - don’t be so hard on yourself.” & while i think it’s healthy to show ourselves grace, i also think we’re all too quick to let ourselves off the hook when we see warning signs of bad habits starting to develop. i wasn’t growing, i plateaued & i alarmingly seemed to accept that as my new normal, until God laid me out flat with a brutal wake up call. i was living in this haze of the ever popular/cliche “i’m not good enough” phrase.
i was physically present in my life & doing well on the outside, but mentally & emotionally absent. i wasn’t working as if it was unto the Lord. i lost the passion & reason behind my floral business. i wasn’t being a good friend & i let my health go. i started longing after blips in time of someone else’s life captured in photo squares that were demolishing my love for my own. i lost who i truly was. i was done with it, i was done doing it my own way. i wanted to be the treasure & see the person God so fiercely & lovingly wanted me to come back to. then just as God does when you earnestly seek him, he met me with a grace so amazing, as i wept with true repentance, wondering why i ever saw any other way or thing as better. so on a monday morning in march on my living room floor, i got as low as i could as fast as i could & invited God to join in the race with me again. i pulled the rope leaving no slack between us, i wanted & needed him to carry these weak limbs back to life. i opened my Bible to Zephaniah 3:17 where it says “The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.” - “He will quiet you buy his love” couldn’t have been more true in that moment. He quieted that noise that was so deafening for so long & i welcomed His truth & genuine love with an open, raw heart.
Like most things, this didn’t happen over night, (i share this because maybe it’s what you need to hear, if i was reading this back then i would have been all ears. that’s what social media needs to be, real, life giving posts that BUILD up, not make you feel like you need to MEASURE up) it’s been a journey these last seven months, it’s been a daily sanctification. choosing to die to myself & put on Christ, choosing to say no to the rules & standards of the world around me & at times the world a little closer to home which seems, it’s self, can’t really decided what it wants.
so i’ve decided for myself with this new year i give up! i’m throwing in the towel of my desire to be anything else but Danielle Evonne Roxanne. it’s time to grow in the image of God & to give up my fear of not measuring up, it’s time to be my most authentic self because God says we are fearfully & wonderfully made & i would be dishonoring Him if i tried to be anything else but that. 27- i’m ready for you. i’m ready to love others instead of trying to impress them, i’m ready to speak kindness instead of my opinion, i’m ready to pray more instead of adding to the noise & i’m ready to find the moments where God is pushing me to press in to his call on my life instead of sitting in the comfort of normalcy. 27 i am praying & believing you’re going to be my best year because i have experienced the best unconditional love that demands a life lived for His glory.